Hi. I’m Courtney.
I love a good book. More than that, I love great words strung together in a beautiful poem, novel or passage of scripture. I love how they make me think beyond them to the larger experience that great writing invites us in to. Most of all, I love considering how these words can help people like you and me build a great life.
I wasn’t always this way. I distinctly remember a moment at the age of 5 when I sat on the porch swing at my childhood home and thought despondently: “How am I ever going to learn how to read? Its impossible.” Once I actually learned to read I wrestled for years with the fact that I couldn’t sit still long enough to enjoy a good book.
Something happened in college though where I had to reconsider what I was building my life on. Temporal successes didn’t hold their luster anymore and I realized I had a heck of a lot of internal exploration to do if I was going to figure out my purpose on this planet. 15 years later I’ve consumed more words than I can count and am coming back to the other side of things. My current self looks out from its porch swing and says despondantly: “How am I ever going to live out what these words are calling me to? Its impossible.”
Just like learning to read requires sounding out words one syllable at a time, building a great life appears to be happening by taking one step of faith at a time. For me, that first step is always wobbly as hell. Just the act of deciding to stick my foot out is almost always filled with trepidation. I’ve spent literal years at war with my own mind only to realize I just needed to take one step in the direction my heart was pointing to. Followed by another.
Enter this blog. At about that same time in college when my life was turning upside down an English professor stopped me and told me I could write. I should consider an English degree. At the time, I still identified as a “non-reader” and the idea of spending the rest of college reading novels like Tess of the D’Urbervilles sounded like torture. Something shifted though and by the end of college I was telling my roommate that someday I would like to write a book. I didn’t know then what it would be about and over 10 years later I am just as clueless as I was the day I blurted out my whimsical desire to write. But I know now more than ever that you can’t run before you walk and you can’t walk before you take a step and so this blog is my first step.
Babies don’t do anything without an audience. When my kid was born I was reminded rather quickly that I couldn’t just plug her in for a recharge and head down the street for a latte. But having a daughter has also reminded me that there’s nothing quite as cool as seeing the world afresh from her perspective. So for good or for bad I’m inviting you into my journey of first steps. Yes, they are my first steps in the world of writing but more than that they are reflections on first steps in a life that claims faith in the goodness of God. If I’m honest, just the act of writing that last sentence is terrifying. Who says that God is good? Maybe this, in actuality, is the very first step of faith. The entirety of Judeo-Christian thought exclaims that God is good, he loves and he rescues. It appears that through grace I can entrust that he will create broad spaces for my first steps and will celebrate those steps even after I fall. So here’s to learning how to walk on the grace of God. Thanks for walking with me.
Check out my more specific plans for this blog here.